I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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