I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
