I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
