in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
should my penis look like a turkey
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
