I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
