I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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