my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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