I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
