I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
