My friends, they love my intelligence
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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