so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
