Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
