update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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