Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
