Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
