the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
