Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i was born a porn star she said
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
