I never want to see another naked old woman again.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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