he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I AM VODKA MAN
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I got inside last night via doggy door
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
