and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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