At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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