I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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