im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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