Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
