I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
