Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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