Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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