first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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