Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
