thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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