okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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