I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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