Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Sober January is a disaster.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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