How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
