69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
