My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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