'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
