My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
