3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
