My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
ok first of all what the fuck
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
