We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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