took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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