i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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