I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
