I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
