ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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