the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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