Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Everyone says I win the strip club
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
