I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
