i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
