Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
