She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
