I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
