i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
