Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
